The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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