wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't deserve a penis
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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