when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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