Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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