Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
