is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
