what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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