I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
