How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
