If i come over, it means nothing
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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