So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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