you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
