I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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