Life is so much better after having sex.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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