I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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