I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this will be a night to untag.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I supernannyed him into submission
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
