the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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