just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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