It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize