I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've blown a few things in my day
Do vagina's smell?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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