You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
