I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So much Jack, so little girl.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
