She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
two words...techno handjob
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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