I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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