if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
