He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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