i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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