just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
