I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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