Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
