my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
