sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
