Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
