We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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