i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
