Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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