If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Houston, we have a squirter
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
