I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
