More tranny stories later!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
