I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
