Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
