Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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