Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
