so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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