i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
