i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
