I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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