At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
