I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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