Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just google imaged poop.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
they're like a gay fantastic four
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
