bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
